Scripts of the Revenant

victor- if you somehow learned how to use the computer and internet, both in your lifetime, don't hunt me down and kill me over this. just jokes. for the rest of you- it works best if you read it out loud.


for quite some time now i have been working a dead-end job for a 'friend.' at work i enjoy the company of levi and victor. we have known victor for a while now, and when you work close to someone all day, you are bound to here something ostentatious. perhaps something that contradicts the laws that newton and others based their lives on, something so utterly and completely impossible. actually, he's a buffoon.

to start- some background information about victor. he is about 5'1", 200lbs, extremely too long of hair, half columbian (mexican really) and half jordanian (middle-east equivalent of mexican), and total lack of motivation altogether, surrounded by a strong funk reminiscent to that of a moldy old camel with dead fish glued to it that has been running for days in the desert with a bad case of the trots coming out of a pool of garlic & quarter-pounder grease vat smoldering in the summer sun.

after saving these quotes up, levi and i have decided to put them into blog form for your enjoyment:

1. 'almost' (i almost didn't come to work to-day, i almost quit yesterday...)
2. this is taking way to long (aka- i hate working)
3. all sorts of fucked up (aka it can be fixed in two minutes)
4. buku bucks (apparently a form of money that rich people have [ie. 'those guys make buku bucks,' as in the guys from staples.] victor has no idea of the economic system)
5. i do a mean james brown (or he cannot sing to save his soul)
6. i've still got it (when a girl looks at him with pity because he could have a form of mental retardation)
7. i know all the cops in this town (his ex-gf's dad was a cop- and most cops get along well with foreigners like victor)
8. i know the guys at this place- don't go in there (the place might just have a bad shutter- apparently the tell-tale signs of dope houses everywhere)
9. jo-jo? (his ex-gf is seemingly everywhere you turn around)
10. let me put it to you this way (just another poorly worded example that offers no clarity whatsoever)
11. i need to leave early to-day (aka- i hate working)
12. i need more hours (aka- i have no money cause i keep leaving work early)
13. i'm not fat, i just have this huge rib cage (ill placement of blame. that huge rib cage is made of quarter-pounders)
14. informative packlet (a poorly worded example of the 'information packet')
15. yeah man, just keep making fun of me- see what happens (trust me, nothing happens)
16. i need a smoke (aka- i hate working. he never inhales)
17. by the end of this summer i am gonna look like a greek god (that is just hilarious)
18. d00d if you ever want some good cigars, i'll get some next time i go to the dominican republic (i guess all mexicans have their contacts)
19. does it stink in here (it is usually him smelling his own stink)
20. i've got so much to do (still lives in his car with his dogs and a hernia, working on his patents)


sometimes work can be so much fun i can barely contain myself.

posted by billiam at Sunday, January 29, 2006 | Permalink | Comments

you probably already guessed it (rew did), this is a rant.

i just cannot help but think that saddam is on trial for the murder of some 200 people, some of which have tried to kill him. saddam actually had others do the job. bush has put to death a number of greater value, a mere 153 deaths can be attributed to him through death penalties, and who knows how many other thousands in iraq. and none of these people have ever tried to kill him, unlike saddam's situation. it is natural that people are to be punished for a crime. how many innocent have died due to the decision of our president? yet not even a slap on the wrist. made up information (which was called even at the time of its making) was used to help sway american view. and now we have no more privacy, lets burn the constitution in wake of the homeland security. i feel less secure about living here now that that piece of shit act came to be.

it is quite odd that if you are rich enough, you are considered 'good' for what you do, being a world superpower helps too. i have also noticed that the american 'doing what is right' aspect typically involves making your own rules and 'by any means necessary.' we find it in our fiction books (some) and in our movies where the 'good' guy is actually a bad guy who gets to live by his own set of rules and takes out all of the 'bad' guys- without any sort of consequence. so the u.s. is good and can/will not be held accountable for what it does.

i don't think that i have any real direction that i am going with this, just sharp thoughts that piss me off when i think about them.

posted by billiam at Sunday, January 29, 2006 | Permalink | Comments

sometimes i think the earth is awfully lucky. it has a pal that is always following it around. sure it is one of the fastest friends someone could have at 2,287 mph, but it is just going in circles for goodness sakes. the only thing going around me is my farts- and no one wants those around no matter how fast they are.

things in the air- applications in hands of hopeful employers, and someone came in to work to-day looking for a job. hell, he can have mine in just a few weeks. new application to be filled out by february for grad school. then the long wait starts before i can get an answer back- three months. three hours is long enough- months? does it really take that long? i would like to know a bit sooner- but i will have to take what i can get.

the new macs are out. thinking about selling this one, getting the newer one. decisions, decisions.

posted by billiam at Saturday, January 07, 2006 | Permalink | Comments

this year, like previous, we went to kris and dave's to watch the waning of the old year. this year i have undertaken the task of fulfilling resolutions that i have made. this is the first year in quite some time, only because i have been, for some time now, resolute. why should the 'baby' new year make me feel like improving myself? i am not all that bad. friggin babies.

so here are my resolutions. i hear that matt has a sign up sheet for those who want to skip the resolution bit and join his revolution.

1. thanks to last year i am now literate, this year i want to be legible. (anyone know where i can buy that kindergarten paper with the lines in it?)

2. with knowledge that i can buy 1¢ and 5¢ stamps, i plan on writing more letters, and making a postal employee's day much more fun stamping out my numerous stamps. (so i need some addresses)

3. i want to learn proper sentence formation and structure. (then watch it digress next new years' eve)

4. to be able to speak and read norwegian (jeg snakker barre litt norsk)

5. to get a new job.

6. to get into a college. (and it better be in australia)

7. increase my heavier lifts by 40 lbs, and my minor lifts by 15 lbs. (even if i wait until december i could just buy some steroids, right)

see- nothing over the top. perhaps i am a bit over-ambitious, but a little bit of coffee and two nights, you would be amazed at what i could do. just ask me about my $2,000 story.

posted by billiam at Monday, January 02, 2006 | Permalink | Comments