28 April 2006


my trembling hand turns
left, left me with burns
festering splinters come
my swollen knee-caps
kneeling reading maps
still can't find my way home
~t de a

first things first:

as you might have guessed, i got rid of the other post before hand. it just seemed that it was not going well. this one will stay, so any comments will be appreciated, and left on.

i will not lie, i did not look as hard as my friend matt did to find evidence for the movie, United 93, and the funds it is to generate, and where those funds will go. but- if i may, i did know that this movie was made with the consent of the families involved. and please do not get me wrong, it might be a great film. however, i will still not see it. hollywood makes movies for one reason alone. going a stretch further- the people responsible for this movie would not donate all of the money generated, after cost, to the families involved.

therefore, knowing that, and the way that hollywood is, i still see this movie as a money making film. i could be 100% wrong, i will not deny that, but i will still let my donation go, and refrain from the movie. though i do like the idea of using no named actors/esses.

21 April 2006

spoilers are dumb

i've not made amends for my yesterdays
my lips won't get me out of it
waking up dreading hearing tales
of all my nightmares coming true.

~i forget, snow patrol maybe?

ok, now i am not saying that all spoilers are dumb. sometimes i like looking up information about an album, book or movie before i hear, read or see it. and most people are considerate enough to let you know that there is going to be a spoiler, and that i should avert my ears or eyes, or... both... either way- i am not talking about those spoilers. i am also not talking about the 'spoilers' that the preservatives keep under control in our food. i think those spoilers are called germs, or something like that, i do not know, i tend just to eat, germs or not.

the spoilers i am talking about are the ones you see on cars. you know, like the ones you see on a 'suped up' honda civic, or saturn sedan that is all grey (ready to be painted for the next four years). most of these cars have 'for sale' signs on them. they realised that their cars were ok before, and now they look like shit. and since no one wants to buy a car with holes on the top of the trunk. well, maybe if you are smuggling dirty mexicans into our country then you would.

but on one sunday, the one after saturday, a normal day, i was coming home from church. as i put on my signal to let the car two inches away from my bumper know that i will be coming to a complete obnoxious stop before i go turn onto the street of my desired route home, a van approached the stop sign. normally i would think nothing of a mini van pulling up to a stop sign, even if i were going to turn on the same street; but this one was different. granny mcfierson (as i am naming her) came to a stop, but her hubcaps kept spinning. i started to laugh, and only laughed harder when i saw a spoiler on the back van. why o why does anyone need a spoiler on a mini van? all of those crazy-ass turns at .5 miles an hour- the aerodynamic design of the mini van forces all of the wind through the spoiler and then keeps the back end from fish-tailing about. who knew that granny mcfierson, who obviously drives like a bat out of hades, knew so much about spoilers. i bet you anything, she intimidates anyone at a red light. i should buy racing gloves and keep them handy so that if i see her again i can give it to her.

08 April 2006

fridays at the gym

i'm calling you to see
if you're sleeping or you're dreaming
and if you're dreaming
are you dreaming of me.

i love the gym on fridays, it is mostly empty. flare guy is not there, the teeny boppers are at some block party while their parents think they are at each other's houses studying, and scream-at-every-rep guy isn't there either. the music is a little bit quieter, and no waiting to use different benches or machines. however, that is when the bizzaros come out.

bizzaro rew is never there during the week. boy oh boy if he doesn't look like rew. difference is deff in the shoes, so far.

bizzaro eli is there too. those of us who know eli, know he is funny and skinny. bizzaro eli is skinny too, except in a more ripped sort of way. and where eli is extremely outgoing, bizzaro eli couldn't talk to save his life.

i have met or seen many bizzaros at the gym- which is bizzaro enough. last, but not least, there is bizzaro matt. bizzaro matt is studying to be a nurse, and i do not know how well he will do. i believe that most of the weights in the room are smarter than he is, unlike unbizzaro matt. and also unlike unbizzaro matt, bizzaro matt starts conversations very oddly, "hey... i got a test to-morrow, so i got to go study. see you later man." that was the whole conversation. i was there about forty-five minutes and he came up to say that and left. many other weird conversations have also happened.

there must be a portal somewhere in quakertown that is letting the bizzaros come through. either that or i just think everyone looks like my friends. "sure i'm blind in one eye, and my other eye was infected that day from picking at it, and i was tired, and i'd been swimming in a pool with too much chlorine, and that was the hour my glasses were at lenscrafters but i seen that [bizzaro____]!"

07 April 2006

gadzooks! it has been a long time

first off, this is a promise that i will do this a bit more often. write crap in hopes that one person might get a good laugh. and if no one does- that is fine too. they can just kiss my... well, let's keep it nice.

i wrote an email to a friend, ken gilson about getting together- though i did not know him for very long- i thought he was a funny guy. he used to get prame (indian guy) so fired up that he would scream at the top of his lungs some odd obscenities in heebe jeebe and do the alalallaalalalaalala thing, running after ken with a knife. he shared some funny stories of things that i did, but i forgot that i did them. boy- even after all my exploits, all the planning, all the 'shot from the hip' pranks, i forget some of them.

anyways- the email went like this:

hey ken,
well, friday is almost always booked. but i tell you
what: i will cancel my prior engagements. which really consists of
making fun of people at starbucks who bring their laptops, fighting
with the dryer over my lost (stolen) socks, fake phone calls to the
other friends i don't have in this town, forging rings, printing fake
diplomas and selling them on ebay, writing bogus clauses to the
constitution (and erasing them), dressing in pre-centennial clothing
and offering people tea, foraging for food, painting terrible pictures
and signing them 'rodin', listening to certain music on headphones
because i am embarrassed to let people know i own such songs (ace of
bass and such), read books no one knows, let myself win in a game of
dominoes, putting fringe on my roommate's shirts, determining
quakertown's barometric pressure using a sock (the one the dryer
didn't steal) and a thermometer, go to walmart and say sayings from
the 80's really loud (totally tubular, gnarly...), write another hate
letter to david schwimmer for his terrible acting ability...

good stuff, i might keep that so that if i ever need to avoid a date, or turn down a job- i will always have it available.

soon i get to fire someone. this guy used to be a good employee, but now he is no good. i have been thinking about what to say. so far, all i can come up with is, "hey chris, say... um- you're a liar. no wait a minute, what did i say? no- sorry bud, i meant you are fired. well, no- you are both. yeah- so... how's about you leave your keys. no really- i am serious, any more work you do to-day is for free, so get moving." maybe i will not do that, i am unsure. i might just do a trump.

about me

  • i'm billiam
  • from prague, Czechia
  • where capital letters have been executed! let's see... i really dislike sunny days. i love precipitation of all kinds. snow is my favorite. i wish that it could be no more than fifty degrees fahrenheit, and clouds covering the sky. i enjoy friends and beer- in that order. i dislike wearing shirts. my random thoughts and unanswerable questions keep me up at night. when i sleep i have dreams; long epic dreams. i believe that it is important to be fit in mental, physical, and emotional capacities. any food worth eating should be as organic as possible, without additives that have letters p, k, x, c, h in close proximity without vowels. save a cow- eat a vegetarian.
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