Scripts of the Revenant

i usually do not ruin my chances with a girl by talking to her- but i do for other people. for example to-day, at work, rich was talking to a woman who works next door. i have no clue what they were talking about, but i know what they will be talking about, if they do ever talk again.

i could not help but yell out, "hey smallwood (his last name- terrible really... richard smallwood... put it together now... there you go- you got it.), put your hemeroide cream away when you are done with it! i was trying to make a sandwich and i almost used that thinking it was the mustard!" good times.

he gave the stupid face, wondering if she heard. oh- she heard. sometimes my voice- like my devilish laugh, carries far. i just hope for his sake that he does not want to start a prank war. because i guarantee that he will quit before i am done, though i will not be malicious. but when a prank war has started i never tire of new ideas, and i will get up early or stay up late to see them through- for days on end. just ask roberts' wesleyan college.

other news: my passport came in. i have the visa form from the royal norwegian consulate. priced out some great deals to norway- allowing naturally for a few pints in ireland an england. just need to find a place to stay- look into getting a job, perhaps a norwegian class or two, and find a rich hot norwegian girl- and i will be set.

posted by billiam at Wednesday, August 23, 2006 | Permalink | Comments

nothing's so loud

as hearing when we lie
the truth is not kind
and you've said neither am i
but the air outside so soft is saying everything
~toad the wet sprocket.

good-evening, god kveld!

why am i in such a good mood? well, is it not obvious? i did something devious. well, not all that devious; i did not have a key- but locks are not a good enough deterrent, i mean- really, it is me i am writing about.

how about we start from the beginning. levi will appreciate this story- though not a tour de force of liquid proportions, it contains essentials nonetheless.

this guy i work out with, bruce, just so happens to be a part-time bartender. when he works he encourages me to come out and keep him company. my part is easy- i sit and talk like a friend would, and he keeps supplying the drinks, as a bartender should; only at the ripe old price of free.

well, i got there at 10.5 and stayed for two hours and eight drinks (levi- i missed the wine, but got the other two). for those of you who are not Scotch/Irish- that is a good bit of drinking. and for those of you who are Scotch/Irish- that is wetting the whistle. either way, i was done and decided to come home.

right next to the development that i live in there is a industrial park barricaded with a chain linked fence and angled tops with 'sharp' wire. to-night i was curious to the goings ons in such a place, so i found a way in- terrible security, those locks are easier than what i practiced on at the age of 11 (so i grew up differently than you, big deal). after letting myself in, i began checking this place out.

there were two soda machines that were cheap (do not worry lucas- i did not partake). i kept moving along, climbing on rooftops and ontop of trailers that were uncarriaged from the tractor. some of them were without a lock, and upon entering they were empty. i thought the same of the ones that were locked- and i was right, empty.

i quickly exhausted this new scenario, and i hopped the fence to come back to the commercial living aspect of this community.

better to get it out now i suppose. better than trying this stunt in canada, right matt? but who would stop me then? mounties? i dare think not! how could i think such a thing?

posted by billiam at Friday, August 18, 2006 | Permalink | Comments