23 August 2006

how to ruin your talk with a girl

i am fairly agile
i can bend and not break
or i can break and take it with a smile.

i usually do not ruin my chances with a girl by talking to her- but i do for other people. for example to-day, at work, rich was talking to a woman who works next door. i have no clue what they were talking about, but i know what they will be talking about, if they do ever talk again.

i could not help but yell out, "hey smallwood (his last name- terrible really... richard smallwood... put it together now... there you go- you got it.), put your hemeroide cream away when you are done with it! i was trying to make a sandwich and i almost used that thinking it was the mustard!" good times.

he gave the stupid face, wondering if she heard. oh- she heard. sometimes my voice- like my devilish laugh, carries far. i just hope for his sake that he does not want to start a prank war. because i guarantee that he will quit before i am done, though i will not be malicious. but when a prank war has started i never tire of new ideas, and i will get up early or stay up late to see them through- for days on end. just ask roberts' wesleyan college.

other news: my passport came in. i have the visa form from the royal norwegian consulate. priced out some great deals to norway- allowing naturally for a few pints in ireland an england. just need to find a place to stay- look into getting a job, perhaps a norwegian class or two, and find a rich hot norwegian girl- and i will be set.

18 August 2006

i do not need keys

nothing's so loud
as hearing when we lie
the truth is not kind
and you've said neither am i
but the air outside so soft is saying everything
~toad the wet sprocket.

good-evening, god kveld!

why am i in such a good mood? well, is it not obvious? i did something devious. well, not all that devious; i did not have a key- but locks are not a good enough deterrent, i mean- really, it is me i am writing about.

how about we start from the beginning. levi will appreciate this story- though not a tour de force of liquid proportions, it contains essentials nonetheless.

this guy i work out with, bruce, just so happens to be a part-time bartender. when he works he encourages me to come out and keep him company. my part is easy- i sit and talk like a friend would, and he keeps supplying the drinks, as a bartender should; only at the ripe old price of free.

well, i got there at 10.5 and stayed for two hours and eight drinks (levi- i missed the wine, but got the other two). for those of you who are not Scotch/Irish- that is a good bit of drinking. and for those of you who are Scotch/Irish- that is wetting the whistle. either way, i was done and decided to come home.

right next to the development that i live in there is a industrial park barricaded with a chain linked fence and angled tops with 'sharp' wire. to-night i was curious to the goings ons in such a place, so i found a way in- terrible security, those locks are easier than what i practiced on at the age of 11 (so i grew up differently than you, big deal). after letting myself in, i began checking this place out.

there were two soda machines that were cheap (do not worry lucas- i did not partake). i kept moving along, climbing on rooftops and ontop of trailers that were uncarriaged from the tractor. some of them were without a lock, and upon entering they were empty. i thought the same of the ones that were locked- and i was right, empty.

i quickly exhausted this new scenario, and i hopped the fence to come back to the commercial living aspect of this community.

better to get it out now i suppose. better than trying this stunt in canada, right matt? but who would stop me then? mounties? i dare think not! how could i think such a thing?

about me

  • i'm billiam
  • from prague, Czechia
  • where capital letters have been executed! let's see... i really dislike sunny days. i love precipitation of all kinds. snow is my favorite. i wish that it could be no more than fifty degrees fahrenheit, and clouds covering the sky. i enjoy friends and beer- in that order. i dislike wearing shirts. my random thoughts and unanswerable questions keep me up at night. when i sleep i have dreams; long epic dreams. i believe that it is important to be fit in mental, physical, and emotional capacities. any food worth eating should be as organic as possible, without additives that have letters p, k, x, c, h in close proximity without vowels. save a cow- eat a vegetarian.
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