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gadzooks! it has been a long time

first off, this is a promise that i will do this a bit more often. write crap in hopes that one person might get a good laugh. and if no one does- that is fine too. they can just kiss my... well, let's keep it nice.

i wrote an email to a friend, ken gilson about getting together- though i did not know him for very long- i thought he was a funny guy. he used to get prame (indian guy) so fired up that he would scream at the top of his lungs some odd obscenities in heebe jeebe and do the alalallaalalalaalala thing, running after ken with a knife. he shared some funny stories of things that i did, but i forgot that i did them. boy- even after all my exploits, all the planning, all the 'shot from the hip' pranks, i forget some of them.

anyways- the email went like this:

hey ken,
well, friday is almost always booked. but i tell you
what: i will cancel my prior engagements. which really consists of
making fun of people at starbucks who bring their laptops, fighting
with the dryer over my lost (stolen) socks, fake phone calls to the
other friends i don't have in this town, forging rings, printing fake
diplomas and selling them on ebay, writing bogus clauses to the
constitution (and erasing them), dressing in pre-centennial clothing
and offering people tea, foraging for food, painting terrible pictures
and signing them 'rodin', listening to certain music on headphones
because i am embarrassed to let people know i own such songs (ace of
bass and such), read books no one knows, let myself win in a game of
dominoes, putting fringe on my roommate's shirts, determining
quakertown's barometric pressure using a sock (the one the dryer
didn't steal) and a thermometer, go to walmart and say sayings from
the 80's really loud (totally tubular, gnarly...), write another hate
letter to david schwimmer for his terrible acting ability...

good stuff, i might keep that so that if i ever need to avoid a date, or turn down a job- i will always have it available.

soon i get to fire someone. this guy used to be a good employee, but now he is no good. i have been thinking about what to say. so far, all i can come up with is, "hey chris, say... um- you're a liar. no wait a minute, what did i say? no- sorry bud, i meant you are fired. well, no- you are both. yeah- so... how's about you leave your keys. no really- i am serious, any more work you do to-day is for free, so get moving." maybe i will not do that, i am unsure. i might just do a trump.

too bad he's a liar. he worked out ok at first.

what ever happened to victor? i thought he'd be a billionaire by now.

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about me

  • i'm billiam
  • from prague, Czechia
  • where capital letters have been executed! let's see... i really dislike sunny days. i love precipitation of all kinds. snow is my favorite. i wish that it could be no more than fifty degrees fahrenheit, and clouds covering the sky. i enjoy friends and beer- in that order. i dislike wearing shirts. my random thoughts and unanswerable questions keep me up at night. when i sleep i have dreams; long epic dreams. i believe that it is important to be fit in mental, physical, and emotional capacities. any food worth eating should be as organic as possible, without additives that have letters p, k, x, c, h in close proximity without vowels. save a cow- eat a vegetarian.
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