Scripts of the Revenant

victor- if you somehow learned how to use the computer and internet, both in your lifetime, don't hunt me down and kill me over this. just jokes. for the rest of you- it works best if you read it out loud.


for quite some time now i have been working a dead-end job for a 'friend.' at work i enjoy the company of levi and victor. we have known victor for a while now, and when you work close to someone all day, you are bound to here something ostentatious. perhaps something that contradicts the laws that newton and others based their lives on, something so utterly and completely impossible. actually, he's a buffoon.

to start- some background information about victor. he is about 5'1", 200lbs, extremely too long of hair, half columbian (mexican really) and half jordanian (middle-east equivalent of mexican), and total lack of motivation altogether, surrounded by a strong funk reminiscent to that of a moldy old camel with dead fish glued to it that has been running for days in the desert with a bad case of the trots coming out of a pool of garlic & quarter-pounder grease vat smoldering in the summer sun.

after saving these quotes up, levi and i have decided to put them into blog form for your enjoyment:

1. 'almost' (i almost didn't come to work to-day, i almost quit yesterday...)
2. this is taking way to long (aka- i hate working)
3. all sorts of fucked up (aka it can be fixed in two minutes)
4. buku bucks (apparently a form of money that rich people have [ie. 'those guys make buku bucks,' as in the guys from staples.] victor has no idea of the economic system)
5. i do a mean james brown (or he cannot sing to save his soul)
6. i've still got it (when a girl looks at him with pity because he could have a form of mental retardation)
7. i know all the cops in this town (his ex-gf's dad was a cop- and most cops get along well with foreigners like victor)
8. i know the guys at this place- don't go in there (the place might just have a bad shutter- apparently the tell-tale signs of dope houses everywhere)
9. jo-jo? (his ex-gf is seemingly everywhere you turn around)
10. let me put it to you this way (just another poorly worded example that offers no clarity whatsoever)
11. i need to leave early to-day (aka- i hate working)
12. i need more hours (aka- i have no money cause i keep leaving work early)
13. i'm not fat, i just have this huge rib cage (ill placement of blame. that huge rib cage is made of quarter-pounders)
14. informative packlet (a poorly worded example of the 'information packet')
15. yeah man, just keep making fun of me- see what happens (trust me, nothing happens)
16. i need a smoke (aka- i hate working. he never inhales)
17. by the end of this summer i am gonna look like a greek god (that is just hilarious)
18. d00d if you ever want some good cigars, i'll get some next time i go to the dominican republic (i guess all mexicans have their contacts)
19. does it stink in here (it is usually him smelling his own stink)
20. i've got so much to do (still lives in his car with his dogs and a hernia, working on his patents)


sometimes work can be so much fun i can barely contain myself.

posted by billiam on 29 January 2006 at Sunday, January 29, 2006 | Permalink