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not sure where i would rather be
you could not keep up, i've more luck
when all your luck's run out on me
your life holds you, you're bound and stuck

semi-official warning- this is going to be a rant. it could be funny. it could be terrible. you might laugh your arse off, you might stare blankly at the screen. you might write me a comment, you might write me hate mail with 'taco smuggler' and other hurtful phrases. you might be glad to know me, you might pretend we never met. you might wait until you see me to call me 'taco smuggler', i might punch you in the arm.

starting off- fun size. what the hell is 'fun size'? every year tons of people with money buy (those with no money steal, but not all of them) tons of cleverly wrapped cavities and give them out to tons of little children dressed up like their future selves (and some older kids who can't be bothered to steal their own candy, dress up; or mostly just wear their normal clothes). most of the little packages that are given out say clearly on the side 'fun size'.

now if i know anything about fun size and candy, and i do, it is that a two pound bag of peanut m&m's® is loads more fun than a tiny bag containing little more than 6 of them. i know that a king size snickers® is more fun than one 1/12 of the size.

and then there is the peanut butter. i love peanut butter, especially between pieces of bread. or watching a dog lick it repeatedly off the roof of its mouth. i do not like just any kind of peanut-butter, i only like crunchy. creamy is for wimps (or the little cavity stricken kids with rotten teeth). which brings me to another misnomer- extra chunky peanut-butter. read my lips, no such thing. extra crunchy peanut-butter is just a jar of planters® peanuts.

and lastly- deli selects®. i dunno what company off the top of my head makes it, but they claim to be 'just like the deli'. only when i go to the deli, i see the ham, turkey, peppered pastrami, salami and the likes. i see the wrapper on the side of the uncut cured corpse just the other side of the glass. there is no crazy words that begin with 'p' and tarry on for about 17 syllables, and consonants like x, y, k (usually found together) called 'preservatives'. so, 'just like' now becomes, close- but with added cancer.

stay tuned!

can i go with pretending we never met?

i kid, of course. or do i?

i suppose. i would hate to limit your options.

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about me

  • i'm billiam
  • from prague, Czechia
  • where capital letters have been executed! let's see... i really dislike sunny days. i love precipitation of all kinds. snow is my favorite. i wish that it could be no more than fifty degrees fahrenheit, and clouds covering the sky. i enjoy friends and beer- in that order. i dislike wearing shirts. my random thoughts and unanswerable questions keep me up at night. when i sleep i have dreams; long epic dreams. i believe that it is important to be fit in mental, physical, and emotional capacities. any food worth eating should be as organic as possible, without additives that have letters p, k, x, c, h in close proximity without vowels. save a cow- eat a vegetarian.
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