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why i am the devil

"continuing failing these trials
but you stand by me nonetheless
and you won't let me sink though i'm begging you
i'm begging you"

a lot of weird things have been happening to me as of late. most recently i went to subway. "surely," you say, "there is nothing that would make you seem like the devil there." and you would be wrong- dead wrong. as normally as i can be, i proceeded like any other normal day to order a delicious italian bmt, foot-long of course. by the time i get my choice of cheese and other condiments onto my sub, hoagie, hero- whathave you, i went to pay. after adding a medium drink the grand total is: $6.66. i have bought this combo several times without that number staring at me from behind the costumer charge window.

i then started laughing, and for those of you who have heard my laugh- it can be quite loud, ominous, frightening, insert other adjectives. more than once, ask matt reed, i have been told i laugh like satan. matt heard a passerby describe me upon hearing my laugh as satan. though i have never met the fallen one- i liken to think that my laugh is much more deep and abrasive. maybe i will never know.

the moderately older lady behind the register took three steps back and stared at me. she would not touch my money, i laid it on the counter- took the seventh dollar bill back and replaced it with exact change which i acquired from the person standing next to me in the line of hungry health conscious gurus swayed by those commercials of that fat guy gone skinny. and even then someone else had to finish the money transaction for the scared old lady. now comes the very funny part- she was of hispanic decent- and i am sure you already guessed it, "es diablo."

and if any of you know tina mann or frankie soon to be married, ask them what my odometer read when we were in the church parking lot one fine sunday morning- 666. another time with tina, she asked me how many crunches she did- i guessed 120. i was right. she was shocked, and we were just discussing how my friends back home call me satan cause i guess things like that too precisely. she then follows with another question hoping to lead to the answer of the number of crunches that her friend did, i guess 80. right.

a very old friend just bought a lap-top computer, and asked me how much he paid for it. well- he lives in guam, and i have not seen him in a very long time. he told me nothing of the lap-top other than it was a dell. so i just guessed. i replied that it probably has 128mb ram, 60 gigs, 15 inch display, and 64mb graphics card, about 850. a long silence was broken by the words i hear all to often when someone i know describes me- "SATAN!"

so for those of you who know me- perhaps you should be wary, i might be incognito. or an angel in disguise- i mean really, doing devilish things is a great disguise for an angel, no?


if any of you have a story that i missed involving me being satan- feel free to add it in the comments.

i always thought something funny was going on.

Actually, thanks to Egyptologists your theory has been proven wrong! You were off by 50. Sorry, but you are probably only human, or maybe some sort of demigod. Or maybe a genetic mistake?

I don't know of any stories that involve you being Satan, but I do seem to remember you going by other names in the past... Jeff, Rudy, Sneakers, Eugene, 42, Milo... that's all I can remember. Little help?

Sammy, Oliver

there was that time you sacrificed that cat and were talking in a strange dialect and the tv lit on fire, but i guess i didnt think much of it

well i don't consider myself a genetic mistake, though i perhaps should. i mean really- i know no one like me. but demigod...

possibilities are endless

Alright there devil mate? can you make sure my friend who i hate goes to hell? Hes a bloomin arsehole! NICE ONE

Well, matt- actually, 616 is the latin version of the mark. see it is all based on emporer nero- in greek his name equals 666, in latin it is 616. and as for egytolgists, they didn't write revelations, john did.

and you annonymus- i can always do my best- however, it is gonna cost you. i'd say at some point in your life, i will be asking you for a big glass of water. It would be in your best interest to send that long my way.

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about me

  • i'm billiam
  • from prague, Czechia
  • where capital letters have been executed! let's see... i really dislike sunny days. i love precipitation of all kinds. snow is my favorite. i wish that it could be no more than fifty degrees fahrenheit, and clouds covering the sky. i enjoy friends and beer- in that order. i dislike wearing shirts. my random thoughts and unanswerable questions keep me up at night. when i sleep i have dreams; long epic dreams. i believe that it is important to be fit in mental, physical, and emotional capacities. any food worth eating should be as organic as possible, without additives that have letters p, k, x, c, h in close proximity without vowels. save a cow- eat a vegetarian.
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