Scripts of the Revenant

to start, boo-friggin-hoo! if anyone cares to take a look, rice seems to have been accosted. you will get no sympathy from me. after all that the u.s. has done- she gets pissed over a bit of a rough time. come on! i can't blame any country thinking of us as bastards when they hear about the mistreatment of the arab peoples. rice demanded an apology, but seriously- has the u.s. issued a formal apology to the arab world? i could be wrong, but i don't think we have. and i don't think they should hold their breath either.

on happier notes- coheed and cambria has a new album coming out in september. and if you go to the new album's website you can see the cover art and hear a selected song. i am rather excited.

on to funnier notes- why in the world do older women suddenly want to be hip? examples start now: sadly one day i was watching the tele and i was flipping through the channels and some older lady wanted a make-over and boob job. come on! my neighbor on the one side is slightly older, 40's, and she wears hip girl pants that slightly rub on the ground and carries one of those weird girl tiny back-packs. YOUR TIME IS OVER! i know i just broke my caps rule, but seriously. you can be cool and hip at the rummy table, you don't have to try to be cool with your daughter's and/or granddaughter's friends. you will not be picking up any hottie's anytime soon. if there are old perverted men out there, they want the real thing- younger girls in the hip clothes, not the old women they are leaving at home.

phew! now that that is out of the way.

'ring ring'

bonnie: hello?
me: hey bonnie
bonnie: who is this
me: billy
bonnie: billy who?
me: how many other billy's do you know?
bonnie: tell me something that only billy would do
me: how about me and matt driving through canada drinking and driving?
bonnie: oh! billy mckinstry! how are you?

and then a little be later

bonnie: you are the biggest paradox
me: what?
bonnie: you are studying ethics and yet you are the worst person ever.

am i really? come on now! i prefer crafty, if you will.

'why would you do such a thing?' if you haven't guessed it- that is canook talk. let me start from the beginning. rew did the canada kick off up in good 'ol westport, right next to rideau lake, and matt and myself decided to take the scenic route through newark, new jersey. for what reason, i don't know- perhaps matt's early birthday present.
after setting the new and correct course and many miles later, we ended up at the border where we were greeted by canook border patrol. i filled up the lane instead of waiting- which i didn't know was a problem. and then this conversation took place:

mounty: 'where are you guys from?'
me: 'new york.'
mounty: 'do they have stop signs in new york?'
me: 'they have a few' - i decided not to mention that i never ever obey them, in fact ticket number 11 was for just that reason (that ticket also, like the others, was dropped to parking on the curb).
mounty: 'what does it say at the bottom?' me: 'stop?' - it was not pertinent to bring up the fact that the bottom part was french, and that i couldn't read it. but in english at the top it said to wait until lane was clear, but in my defense- it was just a stop sign.
me: 'sorry.' mounty: 'why did you do such a thing?' me: 'should i back up?'


eventually we were let through, but not before hearing one more 'why would you do such a thing". only a few minutes into the socialists campground did i have a funny idea- drink and drive in canada. matt and i cracked open a murphy's each (just one though, you can drive home after one- heck maybe more, it's canada for heaven's sake!).

from that point on, matt and i decided to say, 'why would you do such a thing' and variations, and 'hectoliter' all the while in canada; which i think we did very well.

matt and i were also accosted while throwing darts. a phone call chimes in as i am about to throw my last dart- and it's david young saying something about waiting for us to eat lunch. matt got a wry smile on his face and said, 'we're at a pub.' first day in, and we were caught in a pub.

many great times were had by all. who would have thought that going to canada could prove such a great time? i suppose it would have been harder if we had not the use of croquet and boccé, and then our combined sport of croccé (pronounced 'crotchy' not crotchety').

and is there news of a new hampshire calling? i do hope so.


last but not least, here is grade 'a' top choice meat