would you believe it if i told it backwards?
what my eyes have seen
and my hands have felt
would have been forgotten
if scars failed to reveal
~t.de.a.
fridays are unofficially my day to be a pain in the ass. and i have a lot of fun at it. just this friday there was a company outing where we said goodbye to and employee who was a lot of fun. as some of you might have already guessed- i already planned on being a pain in the ass before i got to the restaurant. when i sat down i ordered my typical guinness and decided to order grilled salmon for my main course. then my waiter starts in, and i followed...
waiter: "supersalad?"
me: "what? i don't know, how good is it?"
waiter: "supersalad?"
me: "was he like this with the rest of you guys?"
erin: "yeah, i don't get it either"
now the waiter is still staring at me with his pen and not explaining anything
waiter: "supersalad"
me: "well, i don't know... do you have any excellent salads, or mediocre salads, or piss poor salads?"
waiter: "wait, what? no... soup... or... salad..."
me: "well you don't have to speak like you have downs- i can now tell that you like talking like the micromachines guy- make it soup, no make it supersoup!"
later that evening i heard another waiter say to a customer, "i'm sorry sir, someone has stolen your fish- our cook is making another one." then i say, "oh no- i am eating it right now, the fish is really good too. i stole some money too!"
oh and later- my boss/roommate said that the one girl he has working for him at the store is hot- but that he cannot date the help. so- just to piss him off, her and i left dinner and went up to the bar. and i got digits. good times, good times.
"and now for my next miracle, i'll turn water into funk"
waiter: "supersalad?"
me: "what? i don't know, how good is it?"
waiter: "supersalad?"
me: "was he like this with the rest of you guys?"
erin: "yeah, i don't get it either"
now the waiter is still staring at me with his pen and not explaining anything
waiter: "supersalad"
me: "well, i don't know... do you have any excellent salads, or mediocre salads, or piss poor salads?"
waiter: "wait, what? no... soup... or... salad..."
me: "well you don't have to speak like you have downs- i can now tell that you like talking like the micromachines guy- make it soup, no make it supersoup!"
later that evening i heard another waiter say to a customer, "i'm sorry sir, someone has stolen your fish- our cook is making another one." then i say, "oh no- i am eating it right now, the fish is really good too. i stole some money too!"
oh and later- my boss/roommate said that the one girl he has working for him at the store is hot- but that he cannot date the help. so- just to piss him off, her and i left dinner and went up to the bar. and i got digits. good times, good times.
"and now for my next miracle, i'll turn water into funk"
