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would you believe it if i told it backwards?

what my eyes have seen
and my hands have felt
would have been forgotten
if scars failed to reveal
~t.de.a.


fridays are unofficially my day to be a pain in the ass. and i have a lot of fun at it. just this friday there was a company outing where we said goodbye to and employee who was a lot of fun. as some of you might have already guessed- i already planned on being a pain in the ass before i got to the restaurant. when i sat down i ordered my typical guinness and decided to order grilled salmon for my main course. then my waiter starts in, and i followed...

waiter: "supersalad?"
me: "what? i don't know, how good is it?"
waiter: "supersalad?"
me: "was he like this with the rest of you guys?"
erin: "yeah, i don't get it either"

now the waiter is still staring at me with his pen and not explaining anything
waiter: "supersalad"
me: "well, i don't know... do you have any excellent salads, or mediocre salads, or piss poor salads?"

waiter: "wait, what? no... soup... or... salad..."
me: "well you don't have to speak like you have downs- i can now tell that you like talking like the micromachines guy- make it soup, no make it supersoup!"

later that evening i heard another waiter say to a customer, "i'm sorry sir, someone has stolen your fish- our cook is making another one." then i say, "oh no- i am eating it right now, the fish is really good too. i stole some money too!"

oh and later- my boss/roommate said that the one girl he has working for him at the store is hot- but that he cannot date the help. so- just to piss him off, her and i left dinner and went up to the bar. and i got digits. good times, good times.

"and now for my next miracle, i'll turn water into funk"

about me

  • i'm billiam
  • from prague, Czechia
  • where capital letters have been executed! let's see... i really dislike sunny days. i love precipitation of all kinds. snow is my favorite. i wish that it could be no more than fifty degrees fahrenheit, and clouds covering the sky. i enjoy friends and beer- in that order. i dislike wearing shirts. my random thoughts and unanswerable questions keep me up at night. when i sleep i have dreams; long epic dreams. i believe that it is important to be fit in mental, physical, and emotional capacities. any food worth eating should be as organic as possible, without additives that have letters p, k, x, c, h in close proximity without vowels. save a cow- eat a vegetarian.
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