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silent descrimination

leftorium, originally uploaded by ethiopboy.
if ever you call
and it is my name
might i never stall
answer just the same

you parents tried and
how well you grew up
far from wicked lands
blessings fill your cup

i'm a mighty weight
i'd be your flotsam
an apple you ate
ruined talisman

~t. de a.

woe is me. how terrible a curse it is to be forgotten, to be forced to be like everyone else. most people will never know the the pain of being left handed. surely most things are uni-hand (that word is as of now, copyrighted) like staplers, pens, paper clips, lunch boxes, lamps, food, and other things. but many things are not uni-hand, like monkey wrenches (ha!), certain knives, can openers, keyboards, dinner settings, hand-shaking, some door handles, writing quills, watches, coffee cups (it depends on the images), and a host of other things that are sadly not coming to mind.

i ruined four can openers in three years. i do have a strong grip- but seriously. i have broken two pairs of right handed scissors. why oh why? everyday i am forced to do right handed things (like right hand turns on red. but for good measure i throw in a left on red when i can).

i need ned flanders leftorium

i heard somewhere (now this may or may not be true)...but i heard that people who are left-handed have "mutant genes" and therefore in essence they are actually mutants. (Dr. Chris McManus author of "Right Hand, Left Hand: The Origins of Asymetry in Brains, Bodies, Atoms and Cultures" http://www.cbc.ca/quirks/archives/05-06/jun10.html)...
ha ha ha. i think you should join "the left-handers club"...http://www.lefthandersday.com/

i can go with mutant. i hope my kids have tentacles. i wish i had tentacles.

Tentacles? I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

i had an air freshener for my car that said "i just threw up a little in my mouth". ha ha ha.

sure- why not tentacles? i could hold onto a ton of different things, leave huge suction welts on peoples foreheads, climb up buildings, fend off sharks, scratch my back way better than a pair of hands; the possibilities are endless.

You'll never EVER hook up with any girl again, that's why not. Unless you're looking to make out with an octopus. Or a squid.

well, it is always awkward trying to make out with any sea creatures. any. and the last time i made out with a girl was a looooong time ago- and that was before my way-cool tentacle arms.

you never know, maybe Norwegian girls like boys with tentacles? you might have to fight off all the girls once you get there.

see, what better way to fend off girls then with a pair of suction power tentacles?

i am sure they would love it- imagine the hickeys!!


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about me

  • i'm billiam
  • from prague, Czechia
  • where capital letters have been executed! let's see... i really dislike sunny days. i love precipitation of all kinds. snow is my favorite. i wish that it could be no more than fifty degrees fahrenheit, and clouds covering the sky. i enjoy friends and beer- in that order. i dislike wearing shirts. my random thoughts and unanswerable questions keep me up at night. when i sleep i have dreams; long epic dreams. i believe that it is important to be fit in mental, physical, and emotional capacities. any food worth eating should be as organic as possible, without additives that have letters p, k, x, c, h in close proximity without vowels. save a cow- eat a vegetarian.
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